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The Knitterati
Darlings of the Knitting community – Mary Crochet and Gerry DiLana – make a deal with a mobster they can’t repay. Two worlds collide and everything unravels. A new comedy short featuring award-winning comedy duo Phil Luzi & Sandra Battaglini.
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Just a little Reciprocity
Dear Prime Minister Trudeau, Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Maybe it’s more of a plea… you be the judge. I am a comedian based in Toronto and I am proud to say we have a vibrant, eclectic and incredibly edgy community here. Some say it’s the best in the world. We are…
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This is Not a Bag of Coffee
Welcome back for another instalment of my blog – Batts outta Hell – where I take the piss out of ads. I could take the shit out of ads, but that’d be more work. Today it’s about a bag of coffee. About two years ago, I decided to pop into the Grass Roots store on…
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The Robot Hand that Rocks the Cradle
One day I was walking along Queen St. in Toronto minding my lmnop’s and then it hit me – a billboard with the most outlandish call to action I’d ever seen. It was an avalanche of nonsense that ground my 7.5 feet to a halt. (Sometimes I wear 8 but that’s uje with an orthotic……
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The Ethos behind Ethos® Water
Starbucks sells a brand of water called Ethos Water. I’m sure all you ‘ethical’ bastards out there have purchased a bottle or two when you’ve gone to the monster coffee shoppe to buy a ventisimo, frapacisimo, americanissimo latte. But it’s not just any water it’s Ethos Water. It has morals. It follows an ethical code and…
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Barely There
Before I became a comedian I was in the marketing and ad business. I wanted to do something creative and decided that marketing just might be the thing. Well sorta, kinda, not really. There was a shit tonne of passive aggressive behaviour firing off in all directions which the business world is predicated on. Don’t…
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Bring This Season to Life with Febreze Till Death do us Part
I used to use Febreze like a maniac. I’d spray my couches, my curtains, the carpets, smoky blouses and of course the AIR. Oh the air, how it gets tainted by life. Whatever fabric I could find, I’d Febreze it. I febreezed with the kind of zealousness usually relegated to a Jehovah’s Witness or a…
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The Evil Cross Eye
The Evil Cross Eye sandrabatt: On Friday November 30th at approximately 4:30pm I went to the Longo’s in Woodbridge at Rutherford and Clarence to buy bacon. We were making Caesar salad for my mother’s birthday and we like to keep things fresh. I don’t know what it is about the ‘Bridge’ but it makes me want…
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To the Leslieville Mom who called me a Fat Cunt on Halloween
It was a lovely Halloween day in Toronto. The city was a buzz with official news from Toronto Police Services that they were in possession of a video of our adorable mayor just doing his job. In this instance it was connecting with his constituents who just so happened to be a couple of drug…
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Article 605
Welcome to another installment of my blog Batts Outta Hell. For those of you who are new to my blog, I’m a stand-up comedian and actor based in Toronto and when I get really wound up about something I take it out on my blog. The last piece I wrote was an open letter to the…
